Disspelling Rumors about New Yorkers

Found this in my "travels" across the web and was inspired by another blog (posting an upstate New York version) to post the city gal's version. However, I'm putting commentary, because I need to disspell rumors - or at least own up to being a half city/half upstate girl (though I've always lived in the city). Despite the stereotypes about New Yorkers, I am, for the most part, a very worldly person (or, at the very least, WILLING to be!).

You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan. (ADMITTEDLY, I DO THIS.)

You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. (NOT TRUE, I'VE BEEN TO BOTH NUMEROUS TIMES AND NOT ALWAYS WITH OUT OF TOWN GUESTS.)

You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. (I KNOW WHERE WISCONSIN IS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND I DON'T GO TO COLUMBUS CIRCLE VERY OFTEN!)

The subway makes sense. (I KNOW HOW TO GET PLACES ON THE SUBWAY, BUT WITH ALL THE REROUTING FOR CONSTRUCTION AND WEEKEND TIMES AND WHATNOT, I DON'T THINK THE SUBWAY WILL EVER "MAKE SENSE")

You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual. (NO, IN FACT I CAN ONLY SWEAR IN FRENCH, AND THAT'S NOT EVEN A COMMONLY SPOKEN LANGUAGE IN THE CITY!)

You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple". (STABBING??? THAT'S A BIT HARSH.)

The most frequently used part of your car is the horn. (NOPE! DRIVE EVERYWHERE!)

You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard. (YES I DO, BUT ONLY CAUSE IT'S THE ONLY ONE I'VE GOT!)

You consider Westchester "upstate". (NOT REALLY... WHEN I VISIT KEVIN AND LORI IN WESTCHESTER I SAY I'M GOING TO WESTCHESTER; WHEN I VISIT GRANDMA AND TED IN NEW LEBANON I SAY I'M GOING UPSTATE)

You think Central Park is "nature." (WELL, IT IS, BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S THE EPITOME OF NATURE OR ANYTHING! I'VE BEEN IN THE CATSKILLS, BERKSHIRES AND APPALACHIANS AND GONE CAMPING AND ROCK CLIMBING.)

You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking. (NO, THEY SPEAK VERY QUICKLY.)

You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it’s a "steal." (NOPE - RENT THE BASEMENT FROM GRANDMA!)

You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times. (WELL YES, BUT NEW JERSEY HAS HORRIBLE SIGNS - AND I'VE BEEN THERE MORE THAN TWICE... STILL DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE IT!)

You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent. (NOPE - THE BEAUTY OF BROOKLYN... LESS CROWDED THAN MANHATTEN AND FREE STREET PARKING!)

You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid. (NOPE - WHEN I'M "UPSTATE" I SEE STARS ALL THE TIME!)

You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed. (NOPE - NOT A CLUBBER, AND I DON'T LIKE TO EAT THAT LATE!)

Your closet is filled with black clothes. (NOPE - JUST A FEW THINGS ARE BLACK.)

You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since the 80s, and when you did, it terrified you. (NOPE - AGAIN, VISITS TO KEVIN AND LORI'S/GRANDMA'S/VERMONT/ETC... AS RECENTLY AS NEW YEAR'S EVE)

You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents. (BEER'S GROSS!)

You take fashion seriously. (NOPE. I LIKE TO LOOK NICE, BUT I COULD NOT TELL YOU WHAT'S "IN" OR "OUT" IN FASHION!)

Being truly alone makes you nervous. (ONLY AT NIGHT!)

You have 27 different menus next to your telephone. (NOT QUITE TWENTY-SEVEN, AND I LIKE TO COOK SO I DON'T USE THEM AS OFTEN AS MOST)

Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip." (WELL... I LIVE IN BROOKLYN SO I JUST CALL IT HOME! BUT IT'S THE CITY - LAST TIME I CHECKED NYC WAS MADE UP OF FIVE BOROUGHS - BROOKLYN, MANHATTAN, QUEENS, THE BRONX AND STATEN ISLAND!)

America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you. (NOPE - I'M A TRAVELER!)

You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form. (YEAH, OKAY, I'LL ADMIT TO THAT ONE!)

You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise. (NO - I EXERCISE AT HOME!)

Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes. (NO - I HAVE LOTS OF SPACE)

$50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag. (NO - I TRY TO SAVE MONEY ON FOOD FOR THE MOST PARTY, BUT IT CAN HAPPEN FOR THE OCCASIONAL DINNER PARTY)

You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories. (NOT REALLY - I LIKE TO DRIVE MYSELF AROUND)

You don't notice sirens anymore. (SORT OF TRUE - DEPENDS WHAT TIME OF DAY IT IS)

You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns. (NOPE - ANOTHER BROOKLYN PERKS - HOUSES!)

Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian. (NOT TRUE 100% BUT YES, THE IDEA OF IT IS TRUE - MY STUDENTS RUN THE GAMUT OF ALL NATIONALITIES AND RELIGIONS AND RACES)

You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you. (NO.)

You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills. (NO WAY - I THINK IT'S RUDE!)

You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price. (NOPE!)

Your door has more than three locks. (YEAH.)

Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it. (NOPE! I'M A KATE WINSLET FAN)

You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression. (DEPENDS WHO I'M WITH, I SUPPOSE.)

You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection. (YEAH.)

You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license. (NOPE - ALMOST 27 AND HAD A LICENSE SINCE 21).

You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available. (I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW - I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER BEEN IN THIS SITUATION.)

You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent. (UM... NO!)

There is no North and South...

It's uptown or downtown. (IN THE CITY, YES, BUT "OUT THERE" - AS AM APPARENTLY SUPPOSED TO THINK OF IT, THERE CERTAINLY IS NORTH AND SOUTH - AND I KNOW WHICH STATES ARE IN WHICH DIRECTION!)

When you're away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels. (YES!)

You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas. (NO - WE DON'T HAVE A RAY'S BY MY HOUSE AND I'M PARTIAL TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD PIZZA)

You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve. (100% TRUE!)

Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect. (YES, BUT SOMETIMES I HAVE BRAIN FREEZE AND TOTALLY PARK ON THE WRONG SIDE AND HAVE TO PAY THE DARN TICKET!)

You know what a bodega is. (YUP!)

You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats. (YUP! LEARNED IN HIGH SCHOOL WHEN I PICKED UP A PENCHANT FOR DOING THE CROSSWORD!)

Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet..... (YEAH, I MUST ADMIT IT.)

You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas (CRINGE? MAYBE JUST INTERNALLY CORRECT THEM)

Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you. (DEPENDS ON HOW LONG THEY'RE THERE, AND IF THERE'S ANYONE I LIKE IN THE MOVIE I MIGHT POSSIBLY MEET - NEVER MET ANYONE THOUGH, EVEN WHEN JEFF DANIELS DID "THE SQUID AND THE WHALE" AT MY NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE - DID SEE ANNA PAQUIN LEAVE A CAR THOUGH!)

People from other states cant tell a polar bear from a peanut, but they know you're from NY the second you open your mouth. (NO, ACTUALLY MOST PEOPLE THINK I'M FROM THE MIDWEST - APPARENTLY I NEVER PICKED UP A NEW YORK ACCENT)

When you are able to make a right turn at a red light.. you think it's the best thing ever. (YEAH, THAT'S TRUE - IT'S SO MUCH MORE CONVENIENT!)

Rather than waiting safely on the sidewalk to cross the street, you wait inches away from speeding traffic waiting to cut through it. (SOMETIMES)

Your local news is national news. (KIND OF, I GUESS.)

You walk a mile in 13 minutes and think that everything should be open 24/7. (YEAH, ANOTHER ONE I MUST ADMIT TO)

You know who Dr. Z is... (DR. ZIZMORE!?!? USED TO CALL HIM DR. ZITSMORE - HE'S THE DERMATOLOGIST WITH ADVERTISEMENTS ON THE SUBWAY - I ALWAYS THOUGHT HE LOOKED LIKE MY 6TH GRADE SCIENCE TEACHER)

You think you know better than everyone else in the world.. when in reality.. well.. you do. (NO.)

Yellow light means speed up. (DEPENDS ON HOW FAR YOU WERE WHEN IT TURNED YELLOW!)

Red light means speed up because you know have that 1 second pause until the other light turns green. (I DON'T DO THAT; IT ANNOYS ME WHEN PEOPLE DO)

Communicating with people on the road only takes one finger. (YEAH, I DON'T DO THAT EITHER!)

You order your dinner and have it delivered.. from the place across the street. (SURE CAN, BUT DON'T!)

You cross the street on a greenlight, and if you get hit by a car you blame the driver for "not watching where they're going. (ANOTHER THING I DON'T DO!)

You can tell a gunshot from a firecracker and not get scared, but when you go to the burbs you get scared of hearing a cricket. (NOPE - NONE OF THE ABOVE TRUE, THOUGH I SUPPOSE I DO KNOW A FIRECRACKER WHEN I HEAR ONE!)

You know the lights above the skyscrapers is the closest thing we have to stars. (I GUESS)

The only reason you go to NJ is to go to Six Flags; as for adults, gas (TRUE)

Parties don't end until 4am yet you still don't wanna leave, and you know 7am is a ridiculous time to come in, but that diner is calling your name (NOPE! I HATE BEING UP THAT LATE... OR SHOULD I SAY EARLY?)

You begin missing the city and feeling home sick once you cross the holland tunnel (NO)

You don't notice the garbage that "beautify" the streets any more (I NOTICE IT - YOU MAY IGNORE THE SIGHT, BUT THE SMELL IS AWFUL!)

The only time you are interested in talking to strangers is when they ask for directions (NOT EVEN THEN... BUT THAT'S MORE TO DO WITH MY SHY NATURE)

You meet someone else from the city and somehow you know 5 people in common. (HAPPENS SOMETIMES)

You take five seconds to remember 4 of the 5 boroughs, then have to take another 10 to remember Staten Island.... (NO - I NAMED THEM ALL EARLIER IN FIVE SECONDS, THOUGH STATEN ISLAND WAS DEFINITLY LAST!)

Whenever you go anywhere outside of New York all of your friends constantly ask, "why are you walking so fast?" (EVEN MY FRIENDS IN NEW YORK SAY THAT TO ME!)

Someone just died by jumping in the train tracks and all you can think about is you being late for work. (NO WAY - THE DAY THAT HAPPENED I WAS HIGHLY DISTURBED!)

You go out of the country and instead of saying your American, you say you're from NY. (YEAH, I DO THAT!)

You think paying 6 dollars an hour to park you car is a "good price" (NO CAUSE YOU CAN PAY $30 FOR THE WHOLE DAY AT SOME PLACES)

You think you're not being impolite as you yell on your phone in the middle of a restaurant (I DON'T DO THAT)

You know who "Dan Smith" is (ACTUALLY NO... I'LL HAVE TO LOOK IT UP)

You've memorized the subway platform so that the train doors open right in front of you AND you know exactly what subway car to be on in order to get off right in front of the stairs at your stop (or any stop for that matter). (YUP!!!)

You can tell if a person's a tourist or not by how fast they walk (YEAH)